Integrating the Dark Feminine
Updated: Aug 4, 2020
As women, most of us have grown up and become conditioned to be “the good girl”
We’ve been taught to put a smile on our faces and say that things are OK even even if they’re not. We’ve learned to put other people's needs in front of our own and to shut down our juicy erotic feminine essence, (Our Shakti) and to just express our lighter feminine aspects; to be loving, easy, sweet and nurturing.
But the truth is that this isn’t all that we are….
There is another aspect of the feminine, one that is more wild & untamed…
And that’s the dark feminine.
The dark feminine is the creatrix of healing, change & rebirth. She dwells in our lower chakras as the queen of the underworld, she occupies our womb space and rules our sexuality and our emotions. She’s the void and the depth within our feminine psyche. She’s the aspect within us who feels ALL of her emotions, also the darker ones, and the one who expresses her emotions freely. She’s that part of us who owns her sexuality, who seduces when she feels like it, and allows herself to be sensual, erotic, wild, untamed & raw. She's our creativity, our feminine power and our juice. As you probably start to realise, she’s a pretty freaking powerful aspect of our femininity!
The dark feminine is often the part of us we try to deny.
She may be called the dark feminine, but don’t mistake her for being the same as evil. Darkness & evil is not the same thing. Religions & society have brainwashed us for thousands of years and having us believe that darkness equals evil. We’ve been told that a woman who fully owns her feminine sexual expression and power is bad and dangerous. If we just take a moment to think of all the times in history when such a woman has been seen as a threat, then we get a full picture of why we’ve all been so afraid of fully owning this part of ourselves! We’ve learned to put on a mask and not to show others our darker parts and somewhere along the line we started to believe that these parts of ourselves are unlovable (often because we were not allowed to fully express our darker emotions when we were kids.)
However, all aspects of ourselves that we deny and suppress will continue to stay with us but as an disowned part of who we are. Instead of becoming the source of our power, eventually it becomes our shadow and begins to come out in unconscious and sneaky ways.
When the energy of the dark feminine is in our shadow, we might use sexual energy to manipulate others.
We don’t know how to express our emotions in a healthy way so we tend to get emotionally penetrative and dump our emotions on others, and by doing so we create chaos and destruction in our lives and in our relationships.
Nonetheless, It is possible to consciously embrace and embody the dark feminine, and when we do so, she'll activate our juicy creative womb space and be the fire of your deepest desires. She offers us connection to the core of ourselves, and supports us to heal, transform & release that which no longer serves our highest good. She will help us to take the masks off, guide us to set healthy boundaries and to speak our truth with authenticity (even if it happens to make other people uncomfortable.)
The dark feminine has a powerful medicine for us as she shows us how we can feel all our emotions, also the darker and denser ones. She teaches us that all of it is part of our human expression and that there is a place for emotions such as grief, sadness and rage to be authentically expressed in a healthy way, just as much as joy, happiness and love.
As a matter of fact, considering all the injustice taking place in the world right now, rage channeled and expressed in a healthy way is a gift to humanity from the dark feminine. This powerful emotion can help us set clear boundaries with a roaring F**CK NO ! Enough is enough! I’m not negotiating my worth. I’m not going to allow the exploitation of natural resources and harm of children, animals and the earth. I’m not going to allow racism, war and rape. F**CK NO!”
Integrating our darkness is difficult but incredibly important. It’s a journey of radical wholeness and transformation. It’s authentic self-love on the deepest level.
I dare to say that there comes a time in our life when the dark feminine will bang on the door of our conscious mind and force us to become aware of her. She'll yell:
“Here I am! It’s time to see me. It’s time to feel all your suppressed emotions and own your true power! It’s time to stop bypassing and have a good look at all the injustice that’s happening in the world. It's time to clearly see all the abuses that are going on. It’s time to OWN YOUR SACRED RAGE!”
It’s time to let the wild woman out and allow her to speak her truth. Let her release all she has carried for so long. All the oppression from society and from patriarchy that has been passed down since generations...
Let her roar: NO MORE! I AM SOVEREIGN! I AM HOLY. MY RAGE IS DIVINE!
Let her out, she might be the medicine you need.
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